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Goblin: You’re up! You need to feed me!! I’m starving!!

Me: Ugh, Mario created a monster. You have food in your bowl, you’re not starving.

Goblin: But I want the goooood stuff!! It’s been sooooo long. It’s been nothing but dry kibble for ages!!

Me: You had half a can last night. You’ll be fine. Let me shower.

Goblin: proceeds to gnaw on vinyl blinds