Goblin: You’re up! You need to feed me!! I’m starving!!
Me: Ugh, Mario created a monster. You have food in your bowl, you’re not starving.
Goblin: But I want the goooood stuff!! It’s been sooooo long. It’s been nothing but dry kibble for ages!!
Me: You had half a can last night. You’ll be fine. Let me shower.
Goblin: proceeds to gnaw on vinyl blinds